If I could turn back time....
It's amazing...how the mind works. Just an afterthought of...oh...I will just look up my old high school website...can turn into a whole time warp. Remembering the faces...the times...the incidences...time truly does turn back...and the memories that come flooding in....Wow! Sometimes I wish I could go back to my teenage years....relive the high school years...but of course that is only if I could take back what I know now....the experience....the knowledge....the wisdom. OMG...I really could have kicked butt back then...if only I could go back with what I know now. But, of course, that isn't possible - not unless Sheldon and Leonard really HAVE built a time machine, and I have been able to access this so called Time Machine!....which I haven't.
Looking back.....High School seemed so easy. It didn't seem so at the time, but looking back...it SO was! After High School, life just seemed to continue to get harder and harder, choices to make, ideals to live up to, bills to pay, reality sets in....youth slips away. Life needs to be lived. But the choices one makes in those seemingly fertile years...how many of us live out those dreams? I know I didn't. Back in High School, my first thought was forensic science...I wanted to be a coroner. I wanted to find out why people died...what had happened to them....I wanted to solve crimes.....but I knew I wasn't smart enough...so then I wanted to be a teacher. Kindergarten...majoring in dance and movement. Nurture the artistic side of myself. So...when I failed my matriculation and all my dreams were duly squashed.....I moved to the nearest capital city...and became a receptionist. A far cry from all those early dreams but the only job I could get at the time.
Being a receptionist...moved me into public service. Public service moved me into customer service and then accounting, which is where I now find myself. In a job which is so far from what I really set out to do - not stuck in an office....working for the environment....making a change...becoming and doing something important!
But oh, how our dreams can change. You meet someone, start a family, your goals move and change with the wind. Then, sometimes, you find yourself once again on your own, still with family, still with goals, but the need to provide for your family, far outweighs your goals and becomes THE most important part of your life. So you are left, waiting for the chance again, to become the person you set out to be. Life truly does come full circle...sometimes faster...sometimes slower. And you need to ask yourself....Am I doing what I set out to do? What has changed? What is more important now? What, really, is important to me..and why? And ultimately...do I have the courage to change? And why not? Life is far too short to be left wondering....what happened????