She works hard for the money....

I used to love my work.  I loved the work I was doing...I loved where I worked...I loved the people I worked with...I loved the company I worked for.  Now, I dread each morning I have to go to work...and can’t wait for each working day to be over.  The people I work with are still the same...and I still love them, but everything else has changed.  The company I worked for merged with a bigger sister company.  And since then everything has changed.  The work I have to do is similar and the actual work place hasn’t changed at all....but everything else has.  It wasn’t so much of a merge...as a takeover.

What used to be a very functional, profitable, smooth running machine...has been absorbed...almost amoeba like...by its larger sister.  What used to work is now infused with problems.  The smooth running management is now over ridden by micro management and no one knows who is in charge.   The things that we used to pride ourselves on have been trampled on and squashed in the unfathomable need to appear “unified”.  The new business and operation systems have made it twice the work at the basic levels...but twice as easy at the highest management level...go figure!  And the praise and appreciation for the work you do....is almost non existent...especially for the work that is expected.  What used to be a company I was proud to work for...has become a loathsome job that I need to go to so I can pay the bills.  What happened???

What happened was the refusal of management to understand the impact of the merger on the smaller company...and the way it was handled.  What happened was the way procedures and processes were changed without consulting the people that knew the impact those changes would make.  What happened was that a company that people loved to work for became something completely different with no rhyme or reason.  What happened was the company I used to work for became extinct, and I either did what was asked of me...or I looked for another job.

The latter is now what I am doing.  We spend so much time at work.  So much of our daily lives are taken up with working for someone else.  Even working for yourself, you can sometimes be caught up in the “business before everything” thought process...I know...I have been in that situation too.  But that hasn’t put me off wanting to start something for myself again.  In the past, many things were out of my control, but I still gave as much as I could to my children, before I gave to the business...my marriage wasn’t so lucky.

I would dearly love to start up a business of my own again.  Something I could control...something I had a say in...something that would allow me the precious time I have left with my family before they fly the nest...something I could be proud of.  Oh, I have many ideas....many flights of fancy, and a couple that could actually work.  The thing I am missing is a small nest egg to sustain me while I pursue financial stability. So many times I feel like throwing in the towel... just jumping into the unknown....with the trust that a bridge of safety would appear.  That the confidence I have in myself, will allow the universe to supply the way.  But when you have a family reliant on you...it makes you falter...it makes you think twice.

I wish I could spend as much time with my family...as I do at work.  They are the most important factor in my life...why shouldn’t I be able to spend my time with them?  One day maybe...hopefully...before it is too late....